Too weird to live, too rare to die
So last Christmas was officially the last I will be able to satisfy my entire Christmas shopping list. I spent almost a whole month's salary on gifts for everyone. And I mean
every one. At that time, yes I was going to school in Yellowknife, but I didn't have to pay for room and board, nor rent because I was living with family. This year, I'm going to have to focus on the littlest ones. Trenyce and Keely are the only ones that are getting a gift from me guaranteed. In order to keep my parents happy, you have to keep the kids happy. That's a fact. And I just love their little faces on Christmas morning. And especially hearing "THANK YOU SISTER!" And then you're all like "Holy shit can this be any more rewarding?" And your dad's all like "Nope."
Sometimes I wish I was a kid again. Wouldn't that be fun? If for one day, on December 25, of each year, we all woke up in the morning as children? After all the hectic decorating and cooking and buying presents, we were all able to wake up and feel the way we all felt as kids? To be too excited to sleep in, that we wake up at 6 am? To see that Santa really did eat the cookies and drink the milk? To run around the house, playing with brand new toys and laughing? Imagine all the elders, counting down the days until they could be young and play again. Imagine all the adults who are so stressed by the holidays that they forget to enjoy it, and worse, forget the meaning of Christmas. To spend an entire Christmas day as a kid..that would be something.
Sometimes, I find myself ignoring thoughts of home. But then I am faced with a phone call, and I have to deal with the loneliness. If I don't phone, I don't phone for a reason. I do not like being caught off guard with a phone call from my 4 year old sister, that is not fair. I phone when I have built up the courage for half hour before I dial the number.
Went with the boyfriend and waited in line for Modern Warfare 3. Now he's sitting here swearing and my brother is all "YOU'RE A FUCKIN CAMPER. A FUCKIN CAMPER." I'm not a camper thank god, I'd probably get beat up if I tried to camp playing with them.
School is getting pretty enlightening. I'm beginning to understand what this program will mean for me when I've completed my degree.
Other than that, I party quite a bit, I'm not going to lie. But I love it god damnit, and I don't plan to stop until I have kids, bro. And that is a very long time for now.
I also plan to start a vegan diet 6 days a week, and have one cheating day to eat all the fuckin cheeseburgers I want. Also, bacon doesn't count. I will eat that whenever. Don't get me wrong, I love meat. Love love love meat. But I want to try the vegan thing for a while, see if it makes me feel physically fantastic. If not, I'll go back to eating like a man again. I honestly don't think I'd live if I couldn't eat meat and cheese and drink milk at least once in a while. But maybe my body would benefit from sustaining my self on...plants.
Check out my BRAND NEW and FIRST tattoo.
And this, my friends, is a Trick or Treat. Window style. Fuck yeah.
First year of University, and this first month has been completely unlike what I was expecting. I have been busy with figuring out the dynamic of my life, and how to adjust to it.
I spend a lot less time in class then I should. Sometimes, I wake up in the morning, and decide to do the work at home, I don't miss out on much in a couple classes, but there are two that I cannot miss, and this is usually in the afternoon. I find myself missing the morning class, and telling myself I will get the notes from my classmates. But me being stubborn and proud, I never do it.
I am learning A LOT. But I know that I need to be in class more. This weekend, I learned of a student that hasn't been to one class, and has decided to drop his program. I thought about it, over and over. I realized that that is not who I am. That guy may not have wanted to even to be in his program, but I do. I want this program, I want this degree, and I have wanted it for years. I am allowing myself to fall behind in all my procrastination, and it's driving me insane.
I did it in high school, and I swear, I am not letting that happen this time. I've stayed up all night working on two essays due on Wednesday, and honestly, I am completely confident that I am gunna kill this first year. I am going to do amazing. Tonight I proved to myself that all I have to do is get my fire going, light that fucking flame and I am blazing from here.
I didn't get this far to fuck up. So from here, I'm handlin' my shit, bro.
BUT REMEMBER,
Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.
- Robert Frost
children
